Cold warmth.

Sunday afternoon and it falls on me with no warning

This familiar cloud, full of tears and reminiscing.

Melancholy comes in like an old friend with a knowing look, 

The one that walks in and knows the hows and whys

Without ever having to ask.

The cold warmth of grief wraps its wings around me.

At that very moment I don't shake it off, I let it sink in.

I know this feeling, it knows me and it fits in.

I won't keep it long, I can't feed it, have it around.

But this very second it's all I want. To soak it in.

I know I'll regret letting it in, but I can't help it.

It takes me back there, where it was still up in the air

When I had no idea what was to come and

Such innocence was bliss, sweet sweet felicity.

Memories rush in with smells, words and laughs.

For three seconds it all happened, it all came true.

We didn't part, I didn't have to heal over. 

Now grief is suffocating me. So firmly but gently

I undo its heavy, familiar and knowing wings.

I push the velvety polluted cloud away.

It has come and gone. One last visit, one last shot.

For now I kissed it goodbye,

I can't afford to dwell in this anymore.

Looks, memories, laughter, friendship and trust, 

All packed up in one small precious box.

I can't keep it and let it get covered in dust.

It has to go, leave my heart, out the door.

That grief knows the old me, the one tangled in emotions

.

So tight and deep I couldn't get it right.

The wings don't fit me anymore, I've outgrown them.

Out the door, the good and the hurt, the wishes

For another chance at it, for a take two.

I need a different warmth, another story to tell, 

I can't write a new novel with the same story line and characters.

Blank page, new pen, the world for an oyster. 

I need a new cloud so it, too, can become familiar